Showing posts from July, 2023

Parenting Plans for Young Children and The Benefit of Shared Co-parenting

  Is Spending the Night in Different Homes Bad for Littles? Important co-parenting  decisions are made during separation and divorce and when developing a parenting plan for very young children (Infant and Toddler age). One of the most crucial decisions to support the emotional health of young children is how much time a child spends with each parent. In the past the “maternal instinct” was often a deciding factor for how to split time between parents, especially when younger children were involved.   However, we now know that (in the absence of abuse or other extenuating circumstances), not only is each parent capable of caring for their child, but children benefit from caregiving involvement of both parents.   This includes overnights with the parent who previously was not the primary caregiver (in many families it is the father).   Previously, literature has supported that children ages 5 and under should not have overnights with both parents, which is not supported by current

Agreeing on a Sensible Parenting Plan for the Best Interest of Your Children

  You and your spouse have decided to get a divorce, and, while you might be in pain from this decision, your children are likely even more hurt and confused. It is an unfortunate fact of divorce that there will be an almost certain impact on your children. Entering into respectful discussions that are focused on the wellbeing of your children demonstrates an ability of both parties to parent together and separately. It is imperative that, when dealing with child custody and visitation arrangements during your divorce proceedings, you continually advocate for what is in the best interest of your children. If you have elected to litigate your divorce in court, you can expect extended visits with lawyers and, in some few cases, a guardian  ad litem  (a lawyer appointed by the Court to represent your children’s interests in the litigation) as well as a heightened stress in the family. Children are imminently perceptive, and if you choose an unpleasant divorce battle, there is not much you

Divorce Mediation Can Help Couples Facing Tension and Conflict

  We often hear people say some version of “There’s too much conflict in my divorce to go through mediation; it’ll never work for us.” The truth is, divorce mediation often benefits couples and families embroiled in high-conflict divorce proceedings even more, because it gets to the root of that conflict in a safe and confidential environment. Whether you and your spouse cannot stop fighting, have significant assets, want different outcomes for your children, or any other reason that has led to conflict, divorce mediation can help. What are the leading causes of conflict in a divorce? Every couple is different, so their sources of conflict differ as well. Just because you fight about an issue doesn’t mean you cannot reach a resolution that works for everyone. It is important to find the root cause of that conflict and address it from the beginning, so that you can both work more effectively. Most couples fight about these five things: money, sex, household chores, work and their childr

Divorce Mediation vs. Divorce Litigation: Know the Pros and Cons

  There are many decisions you have to make when seeking a divorce. The best options may not be straightforward, depending on your case, your spouse, your assets and property, and whether or not you have young children. For a more collaborative approach, you may consider divorce mediation. Undergoing mediation might eliminate the need for a divorce attorney to handle your case if yours has the potential to be resolved using qualified trained mediators. Pros and Cons of Divorce Litigation There are many reasons, both good and bad, to seek divorce litigation: Pro: Divorces of all kinds can be handled in litigation.  If your spouse seeks to acquire much more than half of your combined assets, or if the divorce grounds are contested, litigation might be necessary. Even with the best of intentions, some separating couples are unable to reach a workable agreement without the intervention of a judge. If your spouse is out of state or refuses to cooperate to try mediation, then it may be neces

7 Tips for Proposing Divorce Mediation to Your Spouse

  People often assume that divorce mediation is only effective when both parties are in complete agreement (or close to complete agreement) about how they wish to proceed. Just because the two of you are not getting along, however, does not preclude the option of mediation. In fact, if you and your spouse are struggling to maintain an amicable relationship, or if you feel things have become too adversarial, mediation could help you come back together long enough to plan out how your future will go. An experienced professional mediator can help reestablish communication at least for purposes of planning your future. Here are seven tips that will help you formulate your plan for what you want to say to your spouse to encourage them to accept the option of divorce mediation: Learn about divorce mediation  first before proposing it to your spouse. Find out how the process works so that you can explain it clearly and answer a few basic questions about the process. Find out how much it costs

How Divorce Mediation Helps You Resolve Conflicts More Effectively

  When most people think of divorce mediation, they assume there is one mediator who moves back and forth between a divorcing couple, trying to get both parties to compromise. While “shuttle” mediation is a real technique, we have found that it grants most of the power to the mediator himself or herself, and not to the couple who is trying to resolve their differences. Sometimes it works, and sometimes couples leave their mediation session more entrenched in their beliefs that they are “right.” (Shuttle mediation may have a role in certain cases, but generally not divorce case.) Instead, we aim to eliminate conflict by working with both parties. Instead of trying to force a compromise, we create an environment where both parties can feel free and comfortable to express their desires and their fears, and work through the conflicts together. In our process the parties and the mediators collaborate together to find solutions to the parties problems and needs as the family “uncouples”. UND